Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
