GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize