youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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