We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
