my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize