what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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