Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
