And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
