Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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