Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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