I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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