Please, let me fuck your mom
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Two words: nipple clamps
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