So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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