Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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