Whod you bang
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
