Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
