JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
