Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
