suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
