saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy