My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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