Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Thank you for not boning my boss.
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I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Canadian or clown?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off