Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...