It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
there is glitter all over my balls
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
