There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
