Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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