I got chris browned last night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
