seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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