My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
