smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
