I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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