You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
