I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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