also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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