I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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