Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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