so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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