these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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