I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize