Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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