Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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