i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
