How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
