After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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