Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
