Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pants are for mortals
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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