jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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