Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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