Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
