sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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