i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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