this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i out mim tonsoeep
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
