If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
