i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
