The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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