So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
