You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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