No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
