Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
