What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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