this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
