Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
