I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
