D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
